Sunshine storing

笑っているから、いいことがある　(澤木先生、2011)

As long as you keep smiling, when you really need it, life will surprise you will some sunshine.

I remember saying something like that to my Japanese teacher last year. It was towards the end of the school year, coming up to exams, September perhaps it was. Just a few days before, I’d been going through a gloomy patch and then some good news came along. I couldn’t stop smiling, like now.

I remember being surprised by the good news, completely surprised. I had a thought then, something like maybe we’re all unconsciously saving up the smiles and the little moments of happiness, so long as we let it happen, so long as we remember to be grateful. Slowly, maybe, it builds up to be a big surprise, a lovely surprise.

Sometimes I feel that the only way to find things to be happy about, is to look for them, to ask for them, and reach for them. As Brene Brown put it, in order to be loved, you need to believe you’re worthy of love.

I want to believe I am worthy.

I’ll get there.