I think they call this procrastination. I have an interview to write up for the lovely blog of 85 Broads Unimelb but instead I want to write a little dream.
Today, I had one those afternoons where I felt, in the words of a dear friend, like a fly squished against a dusty window. The house was dark and empty when I arrived home. I felt heavy so I crawled into bed and let the warmth of my blanket soothe my unidentified panic. In a few days, a lot of questions that I’ve been avoiding will need to answered. I am terrified.
Still, I can hardly begin to describe how quietly exhilarating and exciting the past week has been. Along with two high school friends, I’ve started drafting a blueprint for a social enterprise idea that is becoming more and more tangible each time we talk. Meeting Eyal Halamish at the founders dozen dinner last Thursday was simply amazing. There was so much interesting and inspiring conversation. I particularly remember being told that perhaps what was holding me back was the fear that I had to decide my whole life right now, but in fact I should be out pursing all my passions because I’m young and I can. (Though actually I’m an old person trapped inside the body of 20 year old.)
I’ve been thinking about my dreams. I want to write, and I want to make a change in the world. I want to dream big and in every possible colour imaginable. I want to break things and I want to build things. I want to write about the abstract fantastic world which lies behind the door to my soul; I want to look in. Yet, I also want to make a concrete tangible impact in the real world I live in; I want to love outside. So why not do both?
I’ve been coming across so many opportunities to do writing things, places to submit to, creative writing competitions; I love working at the writer’s festival more and more each time I go into the office. Similarly, life’s flung open the door to the infinite possibilities of social entrepreneurship and the burgeoning community of Melbourne entrepreneurs. I spent Monday afternoon talking to Will Dayble and some other seriously cool people about getting involved with one of Will’s numerous projects, Clarity io. I’ve been thinking lots about and conceptualising what a ‘market for love’ might look like after my blog post a while ago, The way we think about charity is dead wrong on Dan Pallotta’s Tedtalk of the same name. Clarity is a online platform for smarter charitable giving. Eyal introduced me to Will from Clarity and now I might have a chance to actually get involved in something that was only an idea in my own mind before Monday. (!!!)
Yet, a peculiar thing about me is that I can’t multi-task, or rather I don’t like to. I immerse myself in things. Intense is the word most people use. I read the entire Harry Potter series in under a week. I work in long, uninterrupted bursts or not at all. I only do socialising in 2’s or 3’s because I want the undivided attention of those around me. Right now, I want to immerse myself in the concepts and ideas of social change. So, although I’ve been thinking about pursuing creative writing, that might just have to go on the back burner for a while. Instead, I’m going to turn into a social entrepreneurship and innovation sponge. I want to read (and read and read) books, articles, blogs, (anything and everything) about start-ups, social change and the social sector. I’m thinking I might start another blog to track my readings. There’s already heaps and heaps of stuff on my reading list, but I keep finding more. That’s not even including the myriads of inspirational videos and talks online. I’m hoping I’ll find something new in the collection of puzzle pieces I end up picking up. I suppose I’ll also do a bit of ‘doing’ alongside all the thinking and sponging. Wish me luck!