Up in the Air

Wow, it’s been a really long time since I last blogged… So very sorry to anyone with expectations of me. Life has gotten a little hectic, and the inner perfectionist in me won’t let me post things I have edited 50 times over. But in attempt to punish that inner perfectionist, here are some quick, haphazardly put together life updates!

My summer travel adventures (Dec-Feb):

Hong Kong, San Francisco, Bangkok, Guangzhou

Hong Kong, San Francisco, Bangkok, Guangzhou

Hong Kong was delicious and lovely as always; much lazing about at the hotel, pigging out, and shopping.

San Francisco was beautiful and just the right amount of hipster. Unfortunately didn’t get to see much of LA, but Lion King at Pantages Theatre was breathtaking, and Disneyland was lots of fun despite all the people.

Bangkok, what can I say? I was smitten. From drinking $3 buckets of cocktails from a combi van on the side of the road, to the slightly suspicious street-food and iced coffee in plastic bags, to staying up all night to finish our presentation; it was a trip full of amazing memories made with amazing people. I will definitely be visiting Thailand again.

Guangzhou, China. Chinese New Year with family, keeping the red pockets coming! $$$ Had a relaxing time catching up with family, spending time with my grandmama and playing Candy Crush with my little cousin. Oh and food, lots of food as always.

Taiwan, was just as delightful the second time round. It is definitely one of my favourite places in the world, it’s a much more polite and down-to-earth place compared to China, with just enough Japanese and Chinese colonial influence mixed with aboriginal traditions to be my favourite Chinese speaking country. My cheeks doubled in size over the two months I was away, but that didn’t stop me from eating every Taiwanese speciality I could get my hands on. Cannot wait to go back again, eat and relax in the beautiful hot springs!

Back home in Melbourne (Semester 1, 2014)

I moved out of home and into an apartment 10 minutes away from Melbourne Uni, which is a lovely change and has done wonders for my sleep and energy levels – public transport can be awfully tiring. I’ve got lovely, responsible housemates, who keep the place clean and even cook sometimes, though the night noises of the city have taken a little getting used to compared to the silence of the suburbs. The semester has been a busy one so far though, I’m tutoring a few classes of Introductory Macroeconomics, and all my subjects happen to have weekly assessments, which is hectic to say the least. I’ve also started writing for ESSA, the Economics Student Society of Australia! Read my first article, on technology augmenting our decision making, here: http://economicstudents.com/2014/03/the-economic-man-2-0/

Beyond Graduation (Aug 2014)

So one of the reasons I haven’t been blogging as much is because I like to have concrete things to say, conclusions to discuss, but my life beyond this semester is very much up in the air, and all the fears and questions about my future are looming large. Quite simply, I am overwhelmed by choice, but also by the possibility of rejection and failure.

After completing my final BCom subject, Development Economics, at the London School of Economics in July, I have no idea what I will be doing. I’ve been looking for work for the second half of the year, and in the process, I’ve realised that I have basically no idea what I want to do with my life. I’ve had the opportunity to do so many amazing things while at university, and quite honestly, I’m not sure I want to leave.

I have no regrets about doing the BCom but I realise there is a lot of support, one might even call it pressure, to enter graduate programs, and secure a stable corporate job. I’ve mentioned this before, but I find myself time and time again, unconsciously getting caught up in the whole process and unwittingly believing that my sense of worth is at least in some part determined by whether someone will hire me to do something I’m not even sure I want to do. I find myself caught up in a strange idea of success – that success must be in the form of a prestigious job, or if you’re brave enough, successfully starting your own venture.

It tends to happen that I will decide on a goal, like polishing my writing, or pursuing some future in the social sector; and then I will start working towards this goal through various other pursuits, but then the opportunities to do awesome things keep coming, and I end up oversubscribing to things that aren’t really related to my end goals. It’s a bit like ending to walk down the street to one store, but getting distracted along the way and buying something really really cool, like one-of-a-kind cool, only to find that when you finally get to that one store, you have no money left to buy the things you had originally intended to.  My flirtations with management consulting, and the start-up community feel a little bit like that. I love the ideas of both, but I’ve never really stop to think if it’s what I am passionate about, or if it is something I could do even if I wasn’t paid to. It’s something I really started to think about recently with the whole graduation thing chasing me down, like I am some fugitive whose crime is not knowing who she is.

I worry that deep down I have no real desire to “GET SHIT DONE”, or manage ASX200 clients, they’re both just things I think are really cool. I think deep down I’m actually just a giant nerd, who likes to learn stuff, then write about stuff I learn about, and also do stuff that I can write about. But that’s a scary thought, because making a career out of myself, sharing my inner thoughts, and exposing the whole of myself and whatever intellect I possess, is rather confronting compared to meeting client or customer needs. I guess I just have to come to terms with the un-coolness of being a thinker, not a super awesome go-getting doer! (Or that is what society has been telling me anyways.)

Until next time, thanks for reading!

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